The Ninja of Discworld Wiki

This poem was quilled by Lon Hai Hippai, a rich and powerful silk merchant in Bes Pelargic. The poem describes his daily struggle with the ninja a rival merchant hired to inhume him. Many believe his flippant attitude, demonstrated in the poem, helped him survive numerous assassination attempts.

I see them in the dark
Circling like a shark
I wonder who it will be
The lady that brings me tea?
Perhaps my "loyal" scribe?
He's known to take a bribe
But skill I think he lacks
And looks awful dressed in black

Or maybe my bodyguard?
For him it would not be hard
As he's with me constantly
Alas, even when I pee
But no, I think not him
For he is somewhat dim

And a smart person is needed
For me to be defeated
For many a ninja has tried
But all of them have died

That I am now alive
Proves I have the will to survive
But one lucky shot
Will conclude the fiendish plot
To rob me of my life
And widow my beloved wife

So for now I will just write
And worry about death tonight